I know is weird that I’m writing you a letter, but I see it a little bit special. There’s a lot of things that you can’t understand, and there’s a lot that I can’t either. Is not that the way that is supposed to be, because we are practically t he same person. I’m just trying to find some explanation. I have change my personality so much, that it bring into the confusion to know what is real or is just an imagination. Life can be rude sometimes, but you know someone who never felt any pain doesn’t really know the pleasure of life.
By pretending to be someone I’m not I’m lost. I laugh everyday, but I’m never happy. When someone is happy you can see it through them eyes…but nobody never look at mine. But is okay, because I don’t want nobody to feel some kind of pity for me, I don’t want that. I don’t want anybody to see my scars. You know what scares me the most, is that you never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards you and everything that they say could be one massive lie. Do you see the point? You probably saying why I’m writhing those things, maybe I could just keep them and my mind or something do else. My mind is too heavy, I hold on to so much things that right now I feel I’m about to explode. One of the worst moment in life is probably when you’re in a room full of people and you look around and see them all talking and laughing and all of sudden you feel so sad and lonely that you can even feel a physical pain in your chest because you realize that they all have someone who belongs to them and you don’t, you’re just kind of there.
Am i a bad influence? I don’t know what to think anymore. Sometimes I wish I could saw through people minds. But I’m only human it could never happens. Maybe I would find the answer of my question. I know I should be worried about what people might think or say behind my back. But can I really do that? I keep telling this, is because I just want to find who I am.
After all hope it is the only thing stronger than fear